Gee just 4 days ago I was here reading and thinking about making our relationship safe and being a safe person and then last night, as I was praying and reflecting on the day, I recognized that I had been critical a few times toward John during the day. While sometimes it's great to shed a different view on a situation or activity with the goal of being helpful to my husband; being critical is not helpful. It's hurtful.
I'm glad that John is forgiving toward me.
I'm glad that by God's power in me I can change and be more uplifting.
Showing posts with label Safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Safety. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Day 17 - Creating a safe environment
The author's make the point that marriage should be a safe place.
In marriage you know one another's secrets, you deal with one another's baggage, you share a home and are known down to the most intimate detail. This can either be a wonderful experience of being fully known and fully loved, or a dreadful experience of being constantly criticized and feeling unsafe. The authors make a point about what happens if your behavior makes your spouse feel scared:
"If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else. Perhaps you might look to another person, initiating a relationship that either flirts with adultery or actually enters in. You may look for comfort in work or in outside hobbies, something that perpetually shields you from intimacy but also keeps you around people who respect and accept you."
The dare today is to determine to guard my husband's secrets and pray for him. To resolve in my heart to love him in spite of his issues. To listen to him when he shares personal thoughts and struggles.
Oh Father, I thank You for Your great patience with me. I choose today to accept John as he is and not try to change him, or being short tempered with him. May he be important to me and I listen to him without interjecting. May I allow him to share and have an open attitude. I need You Father; I can't do this on my own. Thank You Lord.
In marriage you know one another's secrets, you deal with one another's baggage, you share a home and are known down to the most intimate detail. This can either be a wonderful experience of being fully known and fully loved, or a dreadful experience of being constantly criticized and feeling unsafe. The authors make a point about what happens if your behavior makes your spouse feel scared:
"If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else. Perhaps you might look to another person, initiating a relationship that either flirts with adultery or actually enters in. You may look for comfort in work or in outside hobbies, something that perpetually shields you from intimacy but also keeps you around people who respect and accept you."
The dare today is to determine to guard my husband's secrets and pray for him. To resolve in my heart to love him in spite of his issues. To listen to him when he shares personal thoughts and struggles.
Oh Father, I thank You for Your great patience with me. I choose today to accept John as he is and not try to change him, or being short tempered with him. May he be important to me and I listen to him without interjecting. May I allow him to share and have an open attitude. I need You Father; I can't do this on my own. Thank You Lord.
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