Day 7 Lists

Part of the dare for day 7 is to write 2 lists that will be used later. One describing the positive things about my spouse and one describing the negative things about my spouse. Then think about which list was easier to write and what that reveals about my thoughts.

Positive List

He laughs easily
He loves God
He has an appreciation for poetry
He is into Christian mystics writing
He can speak and write poetically
He adores and spends time with his young grandsons
He's a dutiful son
He typically chooses to remove himself from explosive situations rather than "get into it" and yell
He isn't into debt
He doesn't spend more than his income
He saves money
He whole heartedly enjoys nature/God's creation
He's not ruled by what others think
He appreciates the appearance of full figured women
He appreciates me
He's easy to please
He's versed in the Word
He's open to involvement in new ministries lately
He's reflective in his manner of thinking
He does not long for other women; would never cheat



Negative List

This list was destroyed as part of Day 8's exercise.

I did not find one list easier to write. I do see a lot of John's negatives flowing from brokenness and having lived alone so many years.

Day 7 - Believing the Best

1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us that love believes all things, hopes all things.

The authors made a remarkable analogy about there being 2 rooms in our heart. One room filled with all the phrases describing the good attributes on your mate that they called the Appreciation room. One filled with all the things that bother and irritate us about our spouse called the Depreciation room. The question is - which room do I want to live in?

Today's dare has 2 parts.

1- Pick a positive attribute and thank your spouse for having that characteristic.

2 - Write 2 lists. One on which is listed positive things about your spouse. One on which is listed negative things about your spouse. I'm to save these lists to be utilized on another day.

Schedules

Part of the dare had been to look for margins in your life; over scheduling, and so adding stress into your life that is the wellspring that irritability springs out of.

This is not my problem. Currently I am not working outside the home and my sons are ages 14, 16 & 21. I have a few ministries I am privileged to be able to serve God and others through. But I've been very careful to not over commit and so I'm OK in this regard.

Heart Trouble

I think my biggest issue is with my mouth.

However, Jesus said:

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
Matthew 12:34 (NIV)

So this underscores the fact that I have a heart problem.

I continue to struggle with the content of day 1 of this love dare - refraining from saying negative things to my spouse.

I have failed miserably at responding with irritability. Instead of letting little things go, I continue to point them out to, if I'm completely honest with myself, train John to act better. But it's not my job to train John! I'm to be his wife; his friend, his lover. It's God's job to work in John's heart and build him into who He wants John to be - I need to focus on me.

Oh Father, thank You that You don't give up on me. Because I continue to fail; to be negative and irritable. Oh Lord, work in my heart. Show me where I'm not giving You access to my heart, soul, & mind so that I can, by Your power change. Oh Father, put a guard on my lips so that I will speak words of love and affirmation to John. May I be oh so slow to ever speak out about negative circumstances, may I be totally confident that it is the right thing, Your will, before I ever do this (I recognize that sometimes we do need to deal with problems). Father, I so want to trust You and rest in the assurance that You are at work for my good, for John's good. Help me to do that Lord. Thank You Father that I'm never alone. Thank You that You are working in me.