This chapter makes the point that my husband and I's lives are interwoven. He is to me as a part of my body. So to treat him poorly is to treat myself poorly.
The Dare today is to do something to show my husband that I cherish him. Perhaps a need I can meet or an errand I can do for him.
Father, show me what you want me to do for John today. Help me love and appreciate this man You've given me in the way You would want me to.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 10 - Agape
Day 10 is about loving your spouse based on your commitment, instead of his attributes and behavior. It's about the unconditional, God kind of love, referred to in the Bible as Agape.
Part of why I'd been so discouraged in marriage was because I had been feeling out of love with John; simply because of this very reason my love had been based on his attributes and behavior. Once I'd gotten to know him better, as in daily to day life, I no longer thought so well of his attributes and behavior. (Of course I'm sure he couldn't help but notice I wasn't so great all the time either; and I've always been aware of that fact) But, since I've started this book, I've been seeking to lead my heart. To choose to love.
This attitude makes life incredibly better.
The Dare today to do something out of the ordinary today for my spouse. Something that shows both myself and him that I love him.
So heavenly Father, show me as I go through this day what it is that I can do for John today. Thank You Father for loving me. Help me love John, the boys, and everyone else You have in my life with Your agape love. I recognize that I can only do it with you.
Part of why I'd been so discouraged in marriage was because I had been feeling out of love with John; simply because of this very reason my love had been based on his attributes and behavior. Once I'd gotten to know him better, as in daily to day life, I no longer thought so well of his attributes and behavior. (Of course I'm sure he couldn't help but notice I wasn't so great all the time either; and I've always been aware of that fact) But, since I've started this book, I've been seeking to lead my heart. To choose to love.
This attitude makes life incredibly better.
The Dare today to do something out of the ordinary today for my spouse. Something that shows both myself and him that I love him.
So heavenly Father, show me as I go through this day what it is that I can do for John today. Thank You Father for loving me. Help me love John, the boys, and everyone else You have in my life with Your agape love. I recognize that I can only do it with you.
Greeting result
It would seem that the greeting was just nice and pleasant.
But I'll tell you what, I can not say if it is related, but that next day was an us date day.
We went out to lunch at Home Town Buffet - I've started working on my attitude so now we always go to his favorite place. it's cheap and low quality but the truth is that I can find stuff there I like OK (plus I just tell myself that it's in the same price as fast food nowadays & I definitely prefer it to that). We picked up a few needed items at Walmart, went to the $1.50 theater where we watched a very enjoyable movie. Then we went to Dylan's football game. John even paid my way into that (I usually pay for that since it's my son). But the deal was it was a good time for both of us. It connected us in positive ways.
But I'll tell you what, I can not say if it is related, but that next day was an us date day.
We went out to lunch at Home Town Buffet - I've started working on my attitude so now we always go to his favorite place. it's cheap and low quality but the truth is that I can find stuff there I like OK (plus I just tell myself that it's in the same price as fast food nowadays & I definitely prefer it to that). We picked up a few needed items at Walmart, went to the $1.50 theater where we watched a very enjoyable movie. Then we went to Dylan's football game. John even paid my way into that (I usually pay for that since it's my son). But the deal was it was a good time for both of us. It connected us in positive ways.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Day 9 - The greeting
Boy did I need to read this, and read it today!
This chapter talks about how we greet our mate. It brings up that the Bible talks about greetings more than you'd expect (remember all those folks listed by name to be greeted in the epistles that you tend to skip over?) It also recounted the father's greeting of the prodigal son when he returned home and talked about thinking about how that made him feel.
Sometimes I barely even notice or acknowledge John when he returns.
I'll be honest, I even know that I've been doing that. At a deep level I long for enthusiastic and passionate greetings but have thought that I just wish that I felt that way about him. On some level I've put it on him to be good enough, to make me feel good enough, to want that. Oh gee, how can I love God and be so ridiculous!
It's about leading my heart.
Well, the timing is perfect because John left Tuesday morning to visit Troy and stay the night at his house in Covina and then on Wednesday he's with his sick/frail mom and daughter Cathy. Today he's trying to get a sub job or hanging out at one of those places and will be home tonight. So I've a steller opportunity for a greeting.
Oh Father, help me lead my heart. Right now I renounce the lies of the enemy that focus, attention and my all to make this marriage work and be good is not important - it is vital. Help me make a wonderful, enthusiastic greeting for John when he returns today. Thank You for caring God, thank You for Your power in me.
This chapter talks about how we greet our mate. It brings up that the Bible talks about greetings more than you'd expect (remember all those folks listed by name to be greeted in the epistles that you tend to skip over?) It also recounted the father's greeting of the prodigal son when he returned home and talked about thinking about how that made him feel.
Sometimes I barely even notice or acknowledge John when he returns.
I'll be honest, I even know that I've been doing that. At a deep level I long for enthusiastic and passionate greetings but have thought that I just wish that I felt that way about him. On some level I've put it on him to be good enough, to make me feel good enough, to want that. Oh gee, how can I love God and be so ridiculous!
It's about leading my heart.
Well, the timing is perfect because John left Tuesday morning to visit Troy and stay the night at his house in Covina and then on Wednesday he's with his sick/frail mom and daughter Cathy. Today he's trying to get a sub job or hanging out at one of those places and will be home tonight. So I've a steller opportunity for a greeting.
Oh Father, help me lead my heart. Right now I renounce the lies of the enemy that focus, attention and my all to make this marriage work and be good is not important - it is vital. Help me make a wonderful, enthusiastic greeting for John when he returns today. Thank You for caring God, thank You for Your power in me.
It's been a good reminder
I didn't think I was jealous of John's successes.
But it's been a good reminder. Since Kathy, the church secretary, has been so helpful and nice to him and ignored me. She hasn't been to the last 3 small groups and I'm afraid I'm bugging her by sending the sorry-you-weren't-here-we-missed-you notes. She doesn't respond to any of my emails any more and that hurts - I thought she was my friend. Just gotta trust God on this one.
I have this weird thing with complimenting him. Like it will someone go to his head and make him think he doesn't have anything he needs to work on - how sick is that thought process?!
But it's been a good reminder. Since Kathy, the church secretary, has been so helpful and nice to him and ignored me. She hasn't been to the last 3 small groups and I'm afraid I'm bugging her by sending the sorry-you-weren't-here-we-missed-you notes. She doesn't respond to any of my emails any more and that hurts - I thought she was my friend. Just gotta trust God on this one.
I have this weird thing with complimenting him. Like it will someone go to his head and make him think he doesn't have anything he needs to work on - how sick is that thought process?!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Day 8 - Jealousy
Today it's not about the healthy kind of jealousy where you want your beloved to love only you and no others; it's about the unhealthy kind where you are upset because he got something you wanted. At first I thought this didn't apply to me until the example about if your spouse is out having fun and you're home with chores - do you rejoice when his trip goes well? Ha!
Heavenly Father, help me be more aware when jealousy rears its head and repent right away. May I always want the best for John. Help me care, notice, and rejoice with him in his blessings.
Today's challenge is to destroy the bad list from day 7 and to talk to with your spouse about some recent triumph he's had and let him know I'm glad.
Heavenly Father, help me be more aware when jealousy rears its head and repent right away. May I always want the best for John. Help me care, notice, and rejoice with him in his blessings.
Today's challenge is to destroy the bad list from day 7 and to talk to with your spouse about some recent triumph he's had and let him know I'm glad.
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